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One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. -Nietzsche

  February 19, 2022

Nikolai Lost a Leg

Life plans often don't conclude as imagined, especially if premised on reward for obedience. Choice to reward is easily rescinded, and ability to pay precluded by changed circumstances.

You're left all alone realizing your master was crazy and your actions were even more insane. This is not to denigrate the mentally ill, who should surely work on their mental and physical health. Losing sight of one's responsibility for the consequences of choices is a joyous liberation, usually followed by imprudent acts with lasting damage.

The typical reaction is to claim innocence for one's choices. Someone else was in charge. Someone suggested or promised an easy solution. All the victim had to do was fall in line. Everything would be taken care of by the master. There was no need for them to evaluate the situation and consider the many threats.

Nikolai Kozlov was a decent auto mechanic in the 31st Airborne Assault Brigade. He was a patriot willing to serve any command.

His life promised a good future. Nikolai's first occupation mission involved disguising himself as a local policeman in the nation he was occupying. Upon returning home from a successful operation, he had a beautiful summer wedding.

Nikolai then returned to Donbass to fight in combat missions. Youth feels invulnerable until getting a close enough glimpse at the ferocity of situations that only rarely reveal the power of their fangs. It shakes you for weeks, drawing into reflection and consideration that were previously passed by as irrelevant. Only now do you respect what could happen. Despite weeks of live fire and shelling, Nikolai bravely participated in his squad's attack plans every day.

On August 24, 2014 the squad fell under the shelling of armor-piercing guns, and a shot severed Kozlov's leg. He was transferred across the border, was in hospital in Rostov and later transferred to Moscow.
[European Union Foreign Affairs Journal]

There's no great treatment for losing a leg. Doctors try to prevent total loss of life. A prosthetic will give some appearance of normalcy, but the misadventure leaves its lasting bite.

Risk in youth can be worthwhile if the risk is not too large and a reasonable reward is possible. Potentially large risk without reward is always a foolish decision. Even more so when performed for an organization, whether company or government, as all are absolved of whatever happens to a participant.

A military has endless expendable soldiers it can count upon to perform the will of leaders. Leaders might pursue personal objectives rather than those beneficial to their nation. Soldiers do as they are told, pawns no different than college graduates who devote themselves to companies or consuming entertainment rather than families.

In our hearts we know only we are responsible for what happens from our choices, but even atheists want to hold God responsible, pathetically pleading with a force they don't believe in to change reality in their favor. They were reckless or just encountered a normal event in the world yet wish for supernatural intervention rather than accepting life as it comes.

Our challenging solitary predicament is trying to make a life while led by incompetent fools and devils striving to pull us into their thrall. Keeping some distance for their campaigns gives us a chance to not lose too much too soon on ridiculous undertakings for uncaring masters. The less encumbered and destroyed, the more we are able to accomplish with the time that remains for efforts we have considered worthy of our lives.

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Next: A Sweet Straight Song of Sorrow

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Aphorisms VI
A Short Guide to Buying a Better Home
Aphorisms V
Jesus' Book List
Aphorisms IV
Aphorisms III
Interview: exponentiation
What a Man Does
A Short Guide to Youth Living

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